Kitchen Tip: Measuring Shortening

Here's a handy tip for accurately measuring shortening if you don't have a kitchen scale.

Say you need a cup of shortening for a recipe. Grab a liquid measure that will hold at least two cups. Measure 1 cup of water and set it aside...preferably in another cup. *smarty-pants smile* Dry out your measuring cup, then spoon some shortening into it.

Why dry the cup? So the shortening will stick to the bottom and not float to the surface when you add the water in the next step. Trust me, it's a lot easier to complete this process when the shortening stays on the bottom of the cup.

When you have what looks like a cup of shortening, pour in the cup of water. The water should stop at the two-cup mark. If it's below, you need more shortening. If it's above, you need to remove some. When you've got the amount correct, pour out the water (careful not to dump your shortening with it). And now you're done!

Side Note: Never use dry measuring cups for liquid measures or vice versa, because they are not interchangeable. The measurement discrepancy might not matter in some stove-top dishes, but the difference could make or break your baked recipe. Remember, baking is a science experiment in your oven. If you get the measurements off, your experiment might fail.

Squirrels Don't Like Crisco

Well...it started with my dad, as all good animal stories do. Dad loves animals. He has horses, cattle, dogs and a cat. He's tender-hearted with a mischievous streak (like father, like daughter). Together, we've broken a mare from her fear of water and discovered what happens when the tackle box is left open and a Boxer bulldog steals and eats an entire bag of jelly worm lures (they were not pre-hooked, thankfully). Dad taught me what cats do when you put scotch tape on the pads of their paws, and that toads excrete a substance on their skin that will make a Cocker Spaniel foam at the mouth.

Anyway, my dad and my stepmom were visiting the weekend before Christmas, and he was watching the birds visit the feeder just outside my living room window, amazed at the variety of species, when a squirrel came along, climbed up the skinny wrought-iron pole, and hung upside down to get some sunflower seed. This is not unusual. The squirrels often take turns at that feeder, one or two foraging below while a third snacks above.

Dad, having seen a few too many squirrel-proofing-bird-feeder youtube videos (again, like father, like daughter), said, "Hey, you got some Crisco?"

I eyed him and said, "Yeah. Why?"

"Because I've heard that squirrels can't climb up a greased pole. They'll slide right down."

So I gave him a paper towel with a decent-sized scoop of vegetable shortening on it. He went outside and greased the pole, then came back in, chuckling like he does when he's thoroughly enjoying something. You'd have to know my dad to fully appreciate his laugh.

We stood inside the living room and waited for a squirrel. Didn't take long. Here came one, shimmied maybe a foot up the pole, but we didn't get to see it slide back down. When its front paws touched that greasy shortening, it abandoned mission and jumped off the pole, licked its front paws, shook its head, then dragged its feet and mouth through the grass, trying to wipe off the Crisco. Another squirrel came a few minutes later. That one actually ran to a nearby dogwood, wiping its mouth and its paws on the tree's bark. Word must travel fast in Squirreldom, because of the half dozen bushy-tailed rodents we usually have frolicking in our front yard, none tried to climb up that pole. And that was the last of the squirrels on the feeder until today.

Apparently, the recent rain washed off the last of the shortening. I had to re-apply this evening. :-) But in that two and a half weeks, I've probably saved five dollars worth of bird seed.

Monster Brother Love

Our five-year-old son came upstairs to fill his water cup, then headed back down to the basement play room. At the top of the stairs he paused and shouted out to his seven-year-old sister, "A-, I love you!" Then stomped down the wooden stairs, calling, "Here comes the hug and kiss monster! Grrrrrrrarrr! Grrrrrrarrr!"

You've just got to love that monster brother love.

I was in their room with them the other day, when they started telling each other how much they love each other, and how great the other person was.

"I love you, I-. You're the best brother in the whole world."

"I love you too, A-. You're the best sister in the world."

Okay, so perhaps this very human mommy and daddy haven't messed them up after all.

Or perhaps Jesus is just that good. Yeah. I think that's it.