Glorious Moments

Have you ever had one of those experiences with God that leaves you completely and utterly, inexplicably, amazingly light?

And free.

He steps into your chaos and, through His amazing creative power, redeems what you had come to believe was a permanent wasteland. He removes the albatross hanging heavy around your neck. He shifts the realm of light, casting beautiful truth on the lies that had held you captive.

Sure, you're still a human being in this fallen world. You still have some baggage. But for one stunning moment in time, He lets you taste and see that He is breathtakingly good.

Those are glorious moments, my friends. Glorious.

Your Experience or His Word?

After years of observation, I have come to the conclusion that Christians approach God one of two ways. We either interpret Scripture in a way that makes it line up with our own personal experiences, or we let Scripture speak for itself and question why our experiences don't line up with Scripture.

I see this often regarding the gifts of the Holy Spirit, but it crops up in less obvious and much more insidious ways as well.

For example, most of us define God according to our relationships and experiences with our earthly fathers, rather than what the Bible says. If you had a distant or absent father, you'll be more inclined to see God as distant. If your dad was a strict disciplinarian, chances are your view of God is much the same.

If we've experienced a major loss or defeat in our lives, those statements in Scripture that offer victory and blessing can be hard to swallow. And we may find ourselves doubting those passages of Scripture altogether.

These are just two examples of the plethora I could give you, and I'm quite sure you could come up with many more of your own. The question is, which is correct: our personal experiences, or the Word of God?

The ultimate challenge for believers, it seems, is to set aside our preconceived notions built on past experiences and old wounds--to surrender them, if you will--and take God at His word. To let God's Word redefine our lives, and not the other way around.

I'll be the first to confess that I struggle with this. As we come to the time of Christ's crucifixion and resurrection, to the celebration of the moment when He defeated death and hell and set the captives free, I believe it's good to examine our hearts and find these subtle areas we have not surrendered or experienced freedom.

I'm praying today as David did, "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way."

I don't know about you, but I want my life to line up with His Word and cease trying to force the Word to line up with my life.

Grace Walks By

There's a powerful song by the artist eLi, called Grace Walks By. It's about that universal choice we are each faced with, many on a daily basis: forgiveness. The Lord brings me back to that song during different seasons of my life, and each time it's appropriate. I wanted to provide a link to the song itself, but it has, sadly, escaped notice and never been placed on youtube. If you're inclined, the song is worth purchasing. The entire album is profound, and the music is simple and gentle.

Here are the lyrics. They so eloquently capture the sentiment I'd like to express, that it would be silly for me to write them any other way. Perhaps they will bless you as they have me.

Grace Walks By
from the album "Second Hand Clothing"
by eLi

She was so beautiful
Lightning in her hair
She was in his sight
But the flashing lights
Of resentment filled his eyes
Left him scared and blind

Life is cold now
He wishes he could see

Forgiveness walks right by him
But he can't see her face
It's bitterness that blinds him
Oh, she walks up to him
He would look her in the eyes
If he still believed in grace
Still believed in grace

He used to dance with her
This old man in a chair
Now he don't walk no more
They used to dance like the wind
Until a storm blew him down
Left him broken on the floor

Life is slow now
He wishes he could reach

Forgiveness dances by him
But he can't join her
Cuz bitterness leads instead
Oh, she reaches for him
And he would take her hand
If she could raise the dead
Oh, she could raise the dead

Looking back now
At what others have missed
I am pleading
For redemption's kiss

Forgiveness walks up to me
And i will join her
Cuz bitterness leads to death
Oh, she reaches for me
And i will take her hand
Together we will dance
Oh, together we will dance

Soul Excavation and Book Therapy

I'm beginning a Bible study/soul excavation/book therapy/study group of sorts with three other awesome women, using the fantastic book Strong Women Soft Hearts (SWSH) by Paula Rinehart. We're reading a chapter a week and going through the study questions in the back of the book. I've read sections of this book over and over again, and now I'm excited to read it all the way through with an accountability group of sorts.

I already can tell SWSH is going to be amazing because of five things that have impressed me so far. Granted, none of these factors taken alone would necessarily make a book outstanding, but put them all together, and you've got a winner...at least, for me:

1) Relevant. Seriously. I've gotten something deep out of every section I've read in the book so far. The author is engaging, and the topics are surprisingly relevant.

2) Honest. SWSH takes you right to the heart of the matter, elegantly cutting through all the bull.

3) Challenging. Rinehart gently challenges you to get honest too, to take a good look at the things and places that hurt, which brings me to my third point...

4) Biblically based. This author isn't just another self-appointed self-help guru. She grounds the points in scripture and brings you to a place of opportunity without a great deal of pressure. Will you let God excavate those hurt places with you as you self-examine, so that you can finally experience healing and freedom through Him?

5) Emotionally mature. SWSH doesn't shy away from emotion, yet it avoids emotional manipulation.

Enough said.

If you've read this book, I'd love your comments. Feel free to share.

Robes for Rags

I'm really thankful that the Lord doesn't just leave us to our own demise. He embraces us when we're filthy and willingly trades His robes for our rags, His righteousness for our stench.
So what's the catch? He won't force us to hand them over. He simply and patiently waits, gently prompting but never forcing, until we're ready.
Why don't we hand them over more willingly? Why do we hold onto our junk when we could give it all to Him and walk in complete freedom?

Disillusionment

Years ago my pastor told me that disillusionment is a good thing and not to be avoided, because it means we're being delivered from an illusion. So now, when I feel disillusioned, I try to stop and thank the Lord for delivering me from the deceit. It still hurts, especially when we're feeling disillusioned with a friend or family member...even a long-held dream, but there's freedom if you take the time to find it.

Swallowing Pride

Ever notice how prideful you are? Yeah, me neither. At least, not until the Lord shows it to me. But now it’s time for me to swallow mine and reveal an area I’ve struggled lately (and still am, so don’t think I have it figured out).

I used to think I knew everything about forgiveness. My grandmother harbored unforgiveness and resentment her entire life. It became a stronghold built on a root of bitterness, and it consumed her and destroyed her relationships with everyone around her. As a child and young adult, I witnessed this devastation first-hand and suffered the abuse she dished out regularly as a result. Hers was a miserable life. So when I trained on an amazing prayer team some 15 years ago and learned in depth about this basic yet profound spiritual concept of forgiveness and the freedom it offers to those who embrace it, I knew I'd found one of those brilliant gems of Scripture.

I've come to realize that forgiveness is essential if I want to maintain relationships—not just with other people, but also with the Lord. After all, Jesus told us to forgive. In fact, He had some really tough things to say about not forgiving others. Here are some examples: Matthew 6:6-15, Matthew 18:21-35, and Mark 11. It's sobering, really, when you read those passages.

Anyway, this concept became a basic truth in my life. Forgiveness was freedom. Forgiveness was a long-forgone conclusion in my spiritual walk with Christ...or so I thought.

But the Lord decided recently to give me a glimpse of my deceitful heart. Maybe it was my own fault for praying Psalms 139:23-24 so many times, but suddenly I found out that I, the self-appointed forgiveness guru, could be hurt and offended and used and taken advantage of and verbally abused past my forgiveness point.

Did you catch that? Yeah, I know. I’m such a hypocrite. I talk about how great forgiveness is, how foolish it is to hold onto hurts, and yet here I am. And for months I couldn’t figure out why this was such a struggle for me. I’d forgiven before countless times. But this time was different. What was it about this hurt? Just now as I’m typing I realize it. I was attacked in an area I’d never been insulted before—my abilities as a wife and mother. This was new territory for me…sacred, if you will.

You see, if you walk in forgiveness a while, you start to get immune to some of the things that previously hurt you. That's when it's easy to let your guard down, if you will. Then when a new hurt comes, targeted at the thing that’s now most important to you (and if you’re foolish like me, you let other things become more important than God), and suddenly you’re not walking in forgiveness anymore. You open your eyes after the initial sting and realize you’re not even standing. You're wallowing in the mire, trying to get up and get your bearings while dealing with the arrow in your side…or the knife in your back.

I used to say forgiveness is hard. I got to the point where I said that flippantly, without meaning it anymore. I had lost sight of what forgiveness costs the person extending it. Now I can say, with tears in my eyes, that forgiveness is excruciating and there’s no way around it. Forgiving will always cost you something, but any intersection of the divine and the flesh will burn, and that’s really what forgiveness is—a place where we cross paths with what God did for us on the cross and for just a moment experience an inkling of what it cost Him.