Dying to Self

Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. - Philippians 2:5-8

My brother from Living Hope Ministries gave me this verse on Monday and gave me a powerful insight to accompany it (which is also shared by John Loren and Paula Sanford in their book Transforming the Inner Man ).

Transformation into the image of Christ comes in two parts. Jesus' blood is applied for the forgiveness of sins. That is done completely by Him. All we can do is accept it. But if you stop there, you will not experience true transformation. Transformation comes only through the cross. The cross is there for death and resurrection power. To experience true freedom in Christ, to be transformed into the image of God, we must allow our sin patterns to be crucified. Daily.

It's a miserable death. And what makes it worse is that we can't complete it alone. Crucifixion is a death that only happens at the hands of others. Our part is choosing to stay on the proverbial cross and let our sin nature die when we're nailed to it--usually by those closest to us.

...let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. - Hebrews 12:1-2

The other side of the cross holds great joy for us, just as it did for our Savior, but death must occur before resurrection power can be fully experienced.
"Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus...He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

Jesus warned us that a cross would be involved. In Matthew 6:24, He says "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me." He promised us persecution, and He ordered us to forgive. The two go hand in hand. Forgive as He forgave us. It's one of the hardest hills we'll ever have to climb, and becoming like Christ requires that we do it daily.

Perhaps Paul put it best:

...that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:10-14

I always suspected this prize Paul speaks of was something we could only achieve after death, but Jesus told us that the Kingdom of God is at hand, and that we can take hold of it here and now. This climb is a difficult one, but His grace abounds in our feeble attempts at obedience, and His strength is perfected in our weakness. We can reach the other side of the cross one heart issue at a time. And the wholeness, freedom, victory, and joy we experience on the other side outshines the painful struggle we endure like a blinding light.

A Long Journey

Last Wednesday our women's prayer group at church discussed how God answers prayer. Of course, we were asked to share a personal example. There are many instances when Father came through for me miraculously, His timing perfect, His provision above and beyond what I could have hoped for. Still other times when He said no, and for years I struggled with accepting His answer, petitioning Him again and again, then years later coming back to His feet to rejoice and thank Him for opening my eyes to see His great mercy and wisdom in saying no. But the example He prompted me to share is one I'm living right now, one where He said wait.
For more than fifteen years, I've been writing a novel. So long, in fact, that I also have written a sequel and scenes, notes and story archs for at least three others. It's turned into an entire series. It's been revised and edited and critiqued so many times I've lost count. Still, in the dark recessess of my back-up hard drive, I have no doubt that the original copy lurks somewhere in all its raw glory. And I've been praying since shortly after its inception about getting this book published.
Umpteen years ago, a writer would submit a manuscript to a publisher, who would then decide whether or not to publish it. Sounds like a simple process, right? Yeah, well, those days are gone. The literary agent has become a clearing house of sorts for publishers that have become inundated with unsolicited manuscripts. Rare is the book that makes it to print without a great agent's representation. In fact, finding an agent has become as daunting, perhaps more so, as finding a publisher was a decade ago.
I don't have the typical novelist's journey. I haven't queried five hundred agents. I don't have an entire room wallpapered with rejection letters. Don't get me wrong. I didn't just pen a novel and put it on a shelf. I majored in English, took college-level creative writing and book editing classes, interned for a local publisher, joined writers' groups and critique groups, and recently attended some writer's conferences. I've been a diligent worker bee (most of the time). But the Lord made it clear to me that the writing was really all that I could control. The rest was in His hands.
At a recent conference I was blessed to meet Jonathan Clements, one of those truly genuine people you meet only once in a while. It was a divine appointment. That's the only way I can explain it. I walked away from that meeting with an amended prayer...not even a prayer so much as a conviction: Lord, that's my agent. That's the one. Jonathan asked for the first three chapters, and I sent them. A few weeks later, his partner, Cari Foulk, asked for the rest of the manuscript.
In the meantime, I ran into discouragement from some surprising places. But the Lord kept speaking wait. That's His favorite four-letter word, by the way. He also said trust Me a lot. It helped that my husband and my best friend echoed Him.
Then last week, I received validation unlike any I've ever received before. I had a phone call with Cari. She liked my manuscript! Just as with my writing journey, I won't put everything she said here because some nuggets are meant for me only. But to cut this short, today they offered me a contract.
I am now represented by Tribe Literary Agency, part of Wheelhouse Literary Group! God's goodness and mercy never cease to amaze me. Why am I always so surprised when He does what He says He'll do? Perhaps it's the waiting.
So tonight at my women's prayer fellowship, I get to share with them an answered part of a fifteen-year-long prayer. One where God said wait, and bit by bit has said yes.

First Prayers

Ahava said her first prayer last night. At least, it's the first prayer she's said that we know of. We were doing her Building Our Legacy devotional with her (we're a day behind in her book), and were trying to explain to her what prayer is and how to do it. So her first prayer was "God bless Daddy. Amen." How sweet is that? Doug and I looked at each other, hearts on our sleeves, and said wow, her first prayer! Moments like that just make your heart burst with love, what Max Lucado calls a "love burst."

I imagine that's what our Heavenly Father feels like when He hears our prayers. To His ears they sound like the humble, broken sentences of a two-year-old. And the fact that we're even attempting to talk to Him probably makes His heart burst with love.

To some it may sound strange to attribute such a human emotional response to God, but I think we've missed it somehow when we attach our own preconceived notions to God and strip Him of His emotions. The Bible talks in great detail of God's emotions. The ones that stick out in most folks' minds the most are the ones where He's really ticked off and His anger flares up. There are plenty of instances of just that happening, yes. But there are also plenty of instances where we actually read that His heart melts with love. The interesting thing about Him is that, when it comes to His children, He can't stay angry for long. Just like us as parents. We may get angry with a child for deliberately disobeying or for being rebellious, but the anger is like a flash in the pan compared to our enduring love for them. That's how our Heavenly Father is.

Isaiah 54 is a perfect example of His heart wavering in its' anger, overcome by His love and compassion for His children, even when they do wrong. Take a look at verses 7 and 8: "'For a brief moment I forsook you, But with great compassion I will gather you. In an outburst of anger I hid My face from you for a moment; But with everlasting lovingkindness I will have compassion on You,' Says the Lord your Redeemer."

It's later in this chapter that He gives us a beautiful promise, a proclamation of His protection: "'No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper; And every tongue that accuses you in judgment you will condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their vindication is from Me,' declares the Lord." Now that's powerful. That's a heritage that each and every believer, as a servant of the Lord, can and should embrace to the fullest.

And look at the entire book of Hosea. The House of Israel (the southern kingdom, consisting of ten of the twelve tribes, the ones we commonly hear called the "Lost Tribes" today) rebelled against Solomon's son and against God's commandments. They turned their backs on God's appointed times and His Sabbath, and started worshipping the pagan sun god. God was so angry with the House of Israel that He told them He would no longer have compassion on them, and declared that they were no longer a people. In Hosea 1:9 he declares, "...for you are not My people and I am not your God." Total rejection from the Creator of the universe. That's gotta sting. We're still feeling the effects of that one today.

But He couldn't stay angry for long. In the very next verse, His love for them overwhelms and pours out, and He declares, "Yet the number of the sons of Israel Will be like the sand of the sea, Which cannot be measured or numbered; And it will come about that, in the place Where it is said to them, 'You are not My people,' It will be said to them, 'You are the sons of the living God.' And the sons of Judah and the sons of Israel will be gathered together, And they will appoint for themselves one leader, And they will go up from the land, For great will be the day of Jezreel."

These are just a few examples of God's love being stronger than His anger. The epitome, the ultimate illustration of God's love for His children, is Christ's sacrifice on the cross. Can you imagine what it must have been like for the Creator of the universe to clothe Himself in flesh and walk among sinners? John 1:4-5,10-12 says this of Christ's earthly presence among man: "In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it...He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. He came to His own, and those who were His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name."

Can you imagine what it must have been like to willingly die in the hands of your own creation? John 3:16 starts with the words "For God so loved the world..." Wow. Stop for just a moment and think about that. God loved you and me so much that He willingly died for us so that we could be with Him. There is no greater love than that. Jesus said in John 15:13-14, "Greater love hath no man than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends, if you do what I command you."

Knowing the great love that the Father bestows upon us, how can we not pray? How can we not attempt to communicate with Him? Our prayers may be humble, like that of my two-year-old daughter, or may be great oratory works. But they're still viewed the same by our Father, as the attempts of His children to communicate with Him. I imagine that in those moments where we offer our first prayers to Him, where we try to reach Him, unsure of ourselves, of whether He's even listening, but desperate to be heard, that His heart melts. And in those moments we are held in the hands of a loving Father, listening to His children's first prayers with delight.

That reminds me of Jeremiah 31:20, where Father muses over Ephraim (another name for the House of Israel): "'Is Ephraim My dear son? Is he a delightful child? Indeed, as often as I have spoken against him, I certainly still remember him; Therefore My heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him,' declares the Lord."

His heart yearns for us, even when we're rebellious and wallowing in our sin. Even then, Father's love reaches out to us, and He delights in us, in our feeble attempts to communicate with Him.

Divine Imagination/Knowing Christ

In my previous post, I mentioned what I refer to as divine imagination. I got this term from a song by Michelle Tumes, called "Dream." Here are the lyrics:

I believe there is divine imagination
Give it wings for it created aviation
Every little hope you're holding inside
Every little gleam you keep in your eyes

Before a seed became a flower there was a vision
The dream is planted deep, He'll shower it with wisdom
Flowing with the love that's making you smile
You've waited and you've prayed, you've dreamed your whole life
Your soul begins to fly

There's a dream in your heart

And His heart is your prayer

You can move mountains with your life in His hands

He'll tear down the walls and He'll walk where you can't

Have faith in the power to believe He's given you a dream

I pray your dream will leap beyond your expectations
You'll see miracles; He has no limitations
Listen to His voice a spark will ignite
Let him be the strength to carry your life
He'll raise your spirit high

There's a dream in your heart
And His heart is your prayer
You can move mountains with your life in His hands
He'll tear down the walls and He'll walk where you can't
Have faith in the power to believe
He's given you a dream

You will find the bloom beneath the sunshine
Reach inside and sail to His horizon
Every little hope you're holding inside
Every little gleam you keep in your eyes
You've waited and you've prayed, you've dreamed your whole life
Your soul begins to fly

There's a dream in your heart

And His heart is your prayer

You can move mountains with your life in His hands

He'll tear down the walls and He'll walk where you can't

Have faith in the power to believe He's given you a dream

Faith in the power to believe
He has given you a dream
Faith in the power to believe
Gotta have faith in the power to believe
He has given you a dream
Faith in the power

I believe that, even today, God does inspire people to write, to paint, to sing, to create and invent. And even deeper than that, I believe that He converses with those who love and follow Him. I also believe that He talks to different people in different ways, depending on our individual giftings, reservations, talents, and misgivings.

My imagination is one of the greatest gifts God gave me. God uses it to bring me closer to Him, to teach me, to guide me, to admonish and to inspire me. It’s extremely powerful, and, sadly, the devil has used it against me more times than I can count. That's why I must be on my guard at all times, taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor. 10:5).

In my first post I said that God (Jesus, to be more specific, in case that helps) told me to do something a little weird (fasting secular fiction for 40 days). I also said He sits in my living room, that He wears a white robe and sandals, and that He has a great smile. And no, I'm not delusional. How can I see God? Nobody has seen God and lived, right? The bible says so. And I'm not contradicting the bible here, so don't get all worked up. I'm not talking about a mountaintop experience with the unbridled power of Yahweh, like Moses experienced on Sinai. I'm talking about His gentle presence in the heart of me as a believer.

Anybody can conjure up images of Christ, or who they think Christ is, in their imagination. That's the beauty of imagination. But in order to really let your imagination be a vessel or tool for Him, you've got to know Him first. There are imitations out there, and any believer can be deceived. I know because it’s happened to me. This is why discernment—the ability to tell whether what we feel/hear/imagine/see/read is really of God, of our flesh, of worldly influence, or something else—is essential.

In John 10, Jesus tells a story to help us understand what it means to know His voice. He tells about the shepherd and the sheep. Here are his words in verses 4b-5: “…the sheep follow him [the shepherd] because they know his voice. A stranger they simply will not follow, but will flee from him, because they do not know the voice of strangers.” He goes on to explain that this story is an illustration of Christ’s relationship with us (v. 11, 27): “I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep…My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.”

So how do we know when something is really of God? How do we know when we’re hearing His voice? It’s simple. Listen to Him. Get to know Him, and you’ll recognize His voice. And how do you get to know God? By reading the Bible and through prayer. The only way you will ever know God’s voice is if you spend time reading the Bible. And reading the Bible is a sure thing. It’s the divinely inspired word of God. It is the ultimate authority. His opinions, His personality, His very essence are contained within the words of your Bible. In fact, He and his word are one and the same. He is His word. John 1 says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being…And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

So, if you want to know Jesus, read the Word of God, the Bible. The entire word of God, from Genesis to Revelations. Read it over and over, for it is the voice of God. And when you’ve become acquainted with the written form of Him, you’ll start to sense His leading in your everyday life—in your decisions, in the song you hear on the radio, in the words of a friend, and in your own thoughts. Immerse yourself in the Word of God. Renew your mind by “washing” it with the Word of God.

Ephesians 5:25b-26 says “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word.”

The word of God washes and cleanses us. It changes us, and it changes how we perceive the world around us.

Ephesians 4:23 tells us to “be renewed in the spirit of your mind.” The verses around it tell us how to do that, by laying aside our old sin nature and putting on the new self we received through Christ and which was created in the likeness of God, in righteousness and truth.

Romans 12:1-2 tells us to present our bodies as a living and holy sacrifice to God, “and do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

The mind is a battlefield. That’s where the enemy wages war against us. And that is why it is essential to renew our minds daily with the washing of the Word of God. Remember that 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but divinely powerful for the destruction of fortresses. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.”

It's fascinating really, that in my mental conversations with Him, I can only hear answers to my questions when I know the scriptural basis for those answers. Otherwise, He doesn't reply, just points me back to scripture. If I want to know His heart, I must read it for myself. But after I have read Him, I recognize Him. And, just as importantly, I learn by default to recognize what is not Him.

So I can sit here and say that yes, I can see my Messiah sitting in my living room with me (in my mind's eye). He reads over my shoulder, laughs with (and sometimes at) me, and guides me when I let Him. I disappoint Him, I'm sure. But He loves me anyway. And I want to know Him more, so that I can hear more of Him and be more like Him.

No, He's not physically there, but He is in spirit. The Holy Spirit is our guide, the One who ministers to us on a daily basis, and He knows that my imagination is very visual and is the best way to communicate with me. So He uses it, and I honestly do believe that He speaks to me at times. I just have to be still and listen…