Their Goodbyes

“I’m getting tired of this,” she said with a sigh.

“Of what? Of dying?” he asked.

“Yes.”

"You ready to go?"

"Yeah."

He nodded, the recognition reflecting in his own weary eyes. “I’m okay with that. Just remember where you’re going. And I’ll meet you on the other side. Real soon.”

My Grandma Nina, my stepmom's mother, passed away yesterday after a battle with lung cancer. Folks often refer to a person as "losing" their battle with cancer when they die. But Grandma Nina didn't lose anything. You see, she knew the Person who created her body, and she trusted Him to the very last breath.

That's why she and Grandpa Preston were able to have that conversation just a couple weeks ago. Because they both know Him and trust Him. They know He is good, and they know that He keeps His promises.

Nina was a beautiful woman inside and out. The peace that radiated from her throughout her walk through the Valley of the Shadow proved what most don't realize, that even death is not our battle. It's His. And the good news: He's already won.

My dad put it best when he said that while watching Grandma Nina, "you really get what the Bible means when it says Jesus takes the sting out of death."

Grandma Nina, Thank you for blessing your family, even us extended members, with unconditional love, kindness, joy and acceptance. Thank you for showing your family how to live—and die—by faith. We were blessed to have you. We're going to miss you deeply. But our hearts rejoice that you are now in our Creator's presence, and He's offered us the same hope and promise you so beautifully enjoyed in Him.

When Faith Wears Thin

A friend mentioned a Twila Paris song on facebook today, and I pulled up a few of her melodies on youtube because I hadn't heard them in a while. I have said many times that there has been a Twila Paris song for every season of my life thus far. Typically, she releases them a year or so before they reach and anchor me. Perhaps her lifewalk with Christ is a few paces ahead of mine. Regardless, her songs are milestones the Lord has often used to encourage and even navigate me on this narrow path. 
Do I Trust You is one of her earliest, and it touched me in a powerful way as a new Christian. Listening to it again today, some 20 years later, I remembered that sweet wonder I had in Him, in all His awesomeness and limitless power and love. And I realized that I have lost a great deal of my joy somewhere along the way.
I know much more of the Word than I did at the age of 16, when I first heard that song. Sadly, I also know more of this world. Some of what I know, I wish I could forget. Life can sometimes wear thin patches in your faith that aren't neatly mended by "doctrine and theology." I think that's why the lines of Do I Trust You struck a chord within me again today. I think you'll understand what I mean if you listen to it, so here's the song, and here are the lyrics.

Trust and the Peanut

My little guy, three years old, has a peanut allergy. This can make life rather challenging, and in the least expected ways. Sure there's the challenge at the grocery store, reading every ingredient on every label. And then there are restaurant visits. But the most surprising problems arise from friends, relatives and acquaintances. Grandparents assuming that pack of Cheese on Wheat crackers is safe, even though the last ingredient listed is "peanuts." Or the party where someone serves a dessert mom would think is safe, like s'mores. How do you mess up s'mores? I mean, they're graham crackers, hershey's chocolate bar, and a marshmallow. But you get another mom wanting to try a gourmet version of an old reliable, and suddenly there's peanut butter in the chocolate.

I'm not complaining about this, actually, although it may sound like I am. I've come to accept the fact that my little guy may eventually come in contact with a peanut, despite my best efforts to protect him from what is harmful, even deadly in life. All I can do is try my best to educate others about his allergy, keep our home safe for him, keep an Epi-Pen with him at all times, and trust God to do the rest.

Trust. That's the biggest, most intimidating word in my vocabulary, especially when it comes to my children. My knee-jerk reaction is to tuck my little chicks under my wings and growl like a grizzly at anyone and everything that threatens to harm them. But I'm not God, and I can only shelter them so much. My reach is limited.

Not so for my Father. His grasp is limitless. His arms span the heavens. He spoke the entire universe into existence, set the earth in motion, breathed life into man. He holds my little family in the palm of His hand. And He is in control of every moment, every breath. I just have to let go, rest in his grasp, and trust. Why is that so difficult?

Trust

Trust. That's the biggest, most intimidating word in my vocabulary, especially when it comes to my children. My knee-jerk reaction is to tuck my little chicks under my wings and growl like a grizzly at anyone and everything that threatens to harm them. But I'm not God, and I can only shelter them so much. My reach is limited.

Not so for my Father. His grasp is limitless. His arms span the heavens. He spoke the entire universe into existence, set the earth in motion, breathed life into man. He holds my little family in the palm of His hand. And He is in control of every moment, every breath. I just have to let go, rest in his grasp, and trust. Why is that so difficult?